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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| What the world needs now is more Shaq rap. | | |
| Hey everyone I'm having a tough time. When I was boogie boarding at strands my half-heart BFF "best friends forever" necklace slipped off and was lost amongst the waves. My BFF is really upset cause we've had these for over two years. He even said he might not come to any of my birthday parties again ever. We could get a new set of BFF necklaces, but it's almost like starting all over. The BFF charm was a gift for our six month friendiversary, so it's hard not to attach some emotional value to it. Later that night we played scrabble and my BFF won with the word "friendship". It was so special that it felt like we both won the game.
Anyways just looking for some support and condolences. | | |
| I am way too handsome. Sometimes I try to look less handsome by wearing ugly clothes from the 80s and not doing my hair, but I just end up setting fashion trends. I'm sick of getting laid all the time and don't know what to do. | | |
| This Week on Richard's Conscience: the subconscious mind of Richard Lim experiences UNPARALLELED PHYSICAL TRAGEDY!!!!!
Alright everyone I have to reveal a secret to you which I have been keeping for all 21 years of my life.
Instead of having a penis, I was born with an ear of corn between my legs.
This was all fine and well, I mean, it pisses (it's a pissing ear of corn) until a few hours ago when I was cooking in the nude.
I was cooking in the nude (I do this all the time-ask my roommate Bryan if you don't believe me) and I accidentally slammed my ear of corn penis into a preheated oven. I couldn't get it out, and the corn kernals on my ear of corn penis popped into popcorn. Now all I have is a charred corncob for a penis. I don't know what to do. It's like circumcision all over again (although circumcision for me consisted of getting my 2 day old green husk shucked off of my corncob).
I don't really know what to do at this point. If anyone comes across a particularly robust ear of corn at the grocer's, grab it for me. Maybe I can use it as a donor organ.
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| Hi everybody and Welcome to another installment of Richard's Conscience Get's Artistic! Today my subconscious mind has graced the cinematic film with the ultimate film noir:
Movie Screenplay Title: Everybody's Mind is Blown
Scene 1: a kid falls down a well
Scene 2: everybody finds out about it
Scene 3: everybody realizes that it's not the kid in the well, it's a projection of themselves trapped by the well of capitalism!
EVERYBODY'S MIND IS BLOWN!!!! | | |
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Rich could never create a website this awesome and isn't responsible for content.
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